I Blame The Caffeine!
by Dysfunctional Vampire
Summary: TOKIO HOTEL: "Bill, I swear to God, if I have eye bags tomorrow, I will drive the tour bus over you and your porcupine hair and hide your damn eyeliner away from you!" Bill's having a caffeine era. Tom's not putting up with it. Devious plans, Tom? Bill?
1. Coffee Night

_**This is my first ever fanfic, so please be nice! If you have something negative to say, I welcome it, as long as you say it nicely and constructively so that I don't lose heart to write more stories!  
I'm writing this off the top of my head, after drinking a few cups of coffee, so I don't really know where this story is headed, but hopefully it will still be interesting!**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tokio Hotel. But I will, soon… *EyeTwitch***

**x-x-x**

Bill poured himself another cup of coffee and jumped up on the couch, tucking his knees in. He sipped his coffee and rested it on his knees, keeping his eyes wide on the television, pumping the volume louder.  
There was a loud bang on the door. Bill muted the television.

"Bill!" Tom's muffled voice shouted from the other side of Bill's hotel room door. "Shut your damn T.V off and go to sleep; it's 4a.m already! We have a concert tomor-" He paused and corrected himself. "TODAY!" He yelled, banging on the door again.

"Sorry, mom." He rolled his eyes and sipped his coffee again. He turned the T.V off, and after hearing the retreat of Tom's footsteps, he then walked over to the stereo. He put his hair brush near his mouth as a microphone and jumped in front of the mirror.

"Ready, set, go, it's time to runnnn!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. He screamed through almost half of the English album, until…

"BILL!" There was a bang on the door again. "BILL, I SWEAR TO GOD, IF I HAVE EYE BAGS TOMORROW, I WILL DRIVE THE TOUR BUS OVER YOU AND YOUR PORCUPINE HAIR AND HIDE YOUR DAMN EYELINER AWAY FROM YOU!"

Bill paused the music. "But Tooom~!" He whined. "I'm practicing!"

"BULLSHIT! YOU KNOW THE SONGS DAMN WELL, YOU DON'T NEED PRACTISE AT ALL!"

"Why, thank you," Bill grinned.

"Open the door!" Tom banged on the door again.

Bill crept over to the door and unlocked it, but kept the door closed. "It's open!" He muffled his giggle with his hand, and ran away from the door. "Come inside~!"

Tom opened the door and stepped inside. Mug stains everywhere, the smell of coffee wafted through the air. He looked around. Bill was nowhere to be seen.

"Err…Bill?" His voiced echoed through the silent room.

Then there was a snort of suppressed laughter somewhere, and Bill clicked a button on a remote.

The stereo suddenly played on full blast again, out of nowhere. "SCREEAAM!!! SCREAM IT OUT LOUD!!!" It screamed.

Tom jumped back and screamed it out loud. Then he heard Bill's laughter that he no longer cared to suppress.

Tom growled and composed himself. No one fools Tom. Especially when he's tired and angry. No one.

"WHERE ARE YOU, BILL?! DAMMIT!" He growled. He stalked over to the cupboard doors and opened it.

"BOOOOO!" Bill jumped out, his hands stretched out like claws, eyes wide, hair puffed and still spiky.

Tom jumped back in surprise. "AAAAAAAGGHHARRRRRGGGHHH!" It was a high-pitched scream that morphed into a low, menacing growl, which, to Bill, just sounded so retarded that he laughed so hard, he had to hold onto his stomach.

"Scared you!" He shrieked between his laughter. "Twice!"

Tom stood there, arms crossed in all seriousness, staring at Bill with an _I'm-not-joking_ expression.

"Just you wait…" Tom growled through clenched teeth. "Just you wait…'till I get back at you,"

"Why so serious, Tom? I'm just playing!"

Tom composed himself, and put a false type of friendliness to his voice. "Okay. You're just playing. I forgive you." He smiled, but as he turned towards the door, it turned into an evil smirk.

"Just you wait…" He mumbled again. He walked out the door and turned the lights off, out of habit. He didn't realize, since he was already planning his revenge. Then after a moment…

"Tooom~!" Bill's voice sounded through the door. " Why did you turn the lights off? Toooooom~!" Bill complained. "It's so dark…" He whispered to the darkness.

It didn't matter, because Tom was already at his own hotel room, ignoring Bill as best as he could.

"Hey! Did you steal my coffee mug?" Bill yelled.

There was no reply.

"_Hello, darkness, my old friennnnd!"_ Bill began to sing to the darkness, his old friend.

**x-x-x**

**A/N: **_**I welcome constructive criticism! Tell me what you think, even if you didn't bother reading the whole thing. (:**_

_**More chapters to come soon. I update faster if I'm encouraged. :p *HintHint***_


	2. Click Flash Laughter

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tokio Hotel, but Bill Kaulitz is **_**fully booked**_** for me, once I turn 21. (:**

**x-x-x**

Bill blinked twice and gasped in shock. He sat bolt upright in bed. He saw his reflection on the other side of the room. His eyeliner was all smudged and running down his face, his hair was flattened and dripping. His whole face, neck and the top of his shirt was wet.

_Oh no,_ Bill thought. _Have I wet the bed? All the way up to my face? _He looked around frantically.

Of course, Bill knew it didn't make sense. But no one sweats _that_ much.

But then he heard an object move by the door; the door which he had kept open all night, and just as he looked to the door, he saw a bucket fall over and roll a few inches into the room.

"Tom." He said out loud, immediately realizing.

There were whispers coming through the door.

Bill was not in the mood of tricks and pranks this early in the morning. He laid back on his bed in frustration and groaned, sealing his eyes shut.

Then all of a sudden, Tom jumped into the room with Georg and Gustav right behind him, there was a click and a flash, and Bill shot his eyes open and zeroed in on the camera in Tom's hand.

Tom was grinning his well-known cheeky grin. "Gotcha," He said.

Georg and Gustav doubled over in laughter.

"AH-HA!" Georg howled, pointing at Bill's pouting face. "Y-you…you…" He tried to speak between his howls of laughter. "You look like a…a sad lonely little lion!" He doubled over again. "Awwwwh!" He pretended to pinch his own cheeks as if it was so cute."Take another picture!"

Click. Flash. Laughter.

Bill gave them the finger, and crossed his arms. "You all suck."

Tom reached down to pick up a mug of coffee off the table and sipped it. "Oh, sorry, I blame the caffeine for making me act like a total idiot!" Tom was serious now. He was not happy. This prank didn't satisfy him. He pointed to his own eyes. "See these eyes?" He asked unnecessarily, as Bill was already looking at them. "Do you know what's under them?"

"Cheeks, you dumbass." Bill said in monotone, acting smart.

Tom ignored him. "BAGS. I have BAGS." He said. "EYE. BAGS." He repeated.

Bill laughed. He remembered about last night. "Grumpy little Tom didn't get his beauty sleep," He pretended to pout.

"Why don't you just go back to the jungle with Simba and lick each other's manes or something?!" Tom bellowed childishly.

"That was really lame, Tom," Georg poked him.

"Your face is lame!" Tom shouted back.

"Your mom is lame!" Georg replied jokingly.

All the while, Bill was laughing, wiping the smudged eyeliner off his face.

"Bill, you know, you have the same mom as he does," Gustav's comment cut Bill's laughter short.

Tom calmly walked out of the room.

"Hey, man, I was just kidding!" Georg said, following after Tom.

"Don't worry, Georg! It's Tom's time of the month right now. He's just PMSing." Bill called after him. "Get him a tampon!"

"Bill," Gustav said, still standing at the door. "You're really weird sometimes, you know that?" He commented, looking at Bill weirdly.

Bill ignored him. "Whatever. Okay, listen," He said in a hushed voice. "I'm going to get back at Tom at the concert tonight, so you have to play along, okay?"

Gustav put his palms forward, surrendering. "This is between the two of you. Tom will bash me with my own drumsticks if I take your side."

"And I will bash you with your whole drum kit for all I care!" Bill crossed his arms like a child would do when they don't get their very important candy supply.

"I'm taking Georg's side," Gustav sighed.

Bill's eyebrows furrowed. "He doesn't have a side,"

"Exactly."

"You suck!"

"I'm not taking your side!"

"Why would you choose Tom over me?!"

"I'm not taking his side, either."

"Then take _my_ side,"

"No."

"_Whyyyyyy?"_

"Because."

"_Because whaaaaat?_"

"Because I said so."

"You suck!" Bill pouted.

"Just go back to bed or something!"

"That's it." Bill said in all seriousness. "I'm not taking your side, Gustav."

"I don't have a side, you idiot!"

"Dammit, that trick usually works on me…" Bill mumbled to himself.

"I'm not that stupid," Gustav gave a _seriously-Bill-you-need-to-get-your-brain-together_ sort of look and left them room.

Bill stuck his tongue out when he left. He got up and went straight into Tom's room.

Tom looked up and stopped playing his guitar. "What do you want?" He asked suspiciously. His eyes narrowed.

"Coffee. I ran out." Bill began helping himself to his own cup of coffee.

Tom kept staring with his narrowed eyes.

Bill looked up and saw Tom staring at him. He picked up his cup of coffee, took a sip, and then took a big sideways step.

Tom's eyes followed.

Bill giggled, sipped his coffee, and then took a big sideways step back to where he was before.

Tom's eyes followed again.

Bill giggled again and sipped his coffee again and moved one step to the other side again.

Tom's eyes followed again.

Giggle. Sip. Step. Follow. Giggle. Sip. Step. Follow.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Tom?" Bill laughed.

Tom ignored the question. "What the hell are you doing?!"

Bill looked around innocently. "I'm not doing anything," He sipped his coffee again.

"You're planning something," He accused.

Bill snorted. "Yeah, I plan on drinking my coffee. So what?"

"That's not what I mean! You're going to do something tonight!"

"Well, I'm going to sing at the concert tonight, duh!" Bill said innocently.

"You're planning something, and you know it!"

Bill sipped his coffee and walked forward to Tom, looking at him closely.

Tom jerked his head back a little and furrowed his eyebrows. "What? W-what the hell's wrong with you?"

Bill gasped. "Tom!" He yelled right in his face. He stared intently at Tom's bewildered face. "A-are you on drugs?" He whispered.

"God! No! I am not on drugs! What the hell?!"

"Then why do you have…dark circles under your eyes?" Bill stared and his eyes widened.

"YOU DID THAT TO ME, YOU IDIOT! YOU SANG ALL NIGHT, AND I COULD NOT SLEEP ALL NIGHT BECAUSE OF YOU!" Tom yelled.

Bill backed away a few steps. "You _are_ on drugs," He whispered. "Oh my God!"

Tom punched his arm. "If anything, _you're_ the one that's on drugs!"

Bill rubbed his arm and cringed. "That really hurt!" Bill whined. "I'm going to get Simba on you!" He poured himself another cup of coffee and stormed out of the room. "Gustav! Get your ass here right now!"

**x-x-x**

**All apologies! Because nothing really happened here. I'm still thinking of stuff for them to do!**


	3. Drumsticks

**Been having a bit of writer's block. And the surprise party went well. (: Hope you guys are still interested in the storyyyyyyy!**

**Guys, I cannot tell you how big my smile is when I read your reviews! It makes me so motivated, since this is my first ever fanfic! (: Keep 'em going! I love you guys~!**

**Disclaimer for the previous chapter: I don't own Simba, either. :p**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tokio Hotel, but I FULLY own Bill's caffeine. (:**

**No, actually. Not really. I own nothing of Tokio Hotel. ):**

**x-x-x**

_**Quick Recap:**_

_Bill backed away a few steps. "You are on drugs," He whispered. "Oh my God!"_

_Tom punched his arm. "If anything, you're the one that's on drugs!"_

_Bill rubbed his arm and cringed. "That really hurt!" Bill whined. "I'm going to get Simba on you!" He poured himself another cup of coffee and stormed out of the room. "Gustav! Get your ass here right now!"_

**x-x-x**

"Gustav!" Bill panted as he barged right into Gustav's hotel room.

Gustav looked up to the heavens in agony. "Whaaaaat nowww, Billll?"

"Give me your drumsticks," He demanded eagerly.

Gustav clutched his precious drumsticks to his chest. "No. Why?"

"In a drum kit, isn't there a set of drums called 'tom-toms'?" Bill asked excitedly.

"Yeah…why?" He asked, then saw the connection. "What are you going to do to Tom?"

"Nothing." Then he grabbed the drumsticks off Gustav while he was still pondering. "Sorry, Gustav! I'll give them back, I swear!" He said as he ran out of the room.

He rushed back to Tom's room and skidded to a stop at the door. He had an evil smile.

"Bill, I swear, _you're_ the one on drugs," Tom sighed.

Bill ignored that. "Tom," He said slowly. "Did you know that in a drum kit, there's a set of tom-toms?"

"Wow." Tom said sarcastically, not feeling any amazement in that fact. "Wow, Bill. That's amazing." He said, and turned away.

Out of nowhere, Bill charged at Tom with the drumsticks high in the air like a threat. "Tooooooooom~! Tom-Tom~! Tommy little Tom-Tom~!" He sang as he bashed Tom with the drumsticks on his back and his shoulders and his stomach.

"BILL! GET OFF ME, YOU CAFFEINE-CRAZED-MENTALLY-PSYCHOPATHIC-NO-BRAIN-LITTLE-SCHIZOPHRENIC-CHILDISH-SPERM!"

Bill stopped and looked at Tom with the weirdest expression. "Sperm?" He asked. "Why am I sperm? I understand all the rest, but…sperm? What the hell?"

Tom shrugged. "I was thinking of too many insults at the same time…"

Bill shook the awkward thought out of his head and continued bashing the bejeezus out of Tom.

"OH GOD! OH GOD, HELP ME!" Tom exclaimed.

"Tom-t-t-tom-t-tom-t-tom-tom~!" Bill bashed a catchy beat onto Tom's stomach.

"OH, THE PAIN! BILL, GET OFF ME! I SWEAR, I REALLY WILL RUN YOU OVER WITH THE DAMN TOUR BUS!"

"You won't get a chance to drive it anyway!" He continued his little beat.

"THEN SAY GOODBYE TO THE ALMIGHTY MAYBELLINE WATERPROOF EYELINER." Tom threatened him.

Bill stopped. "You have no idea how many I have of them."

"So what? Eventually, I'll find them all."

"Try me." Bill smirked.

Tom jumped off the bed and stormed into Bill's room angrily, looking for the dressing table. Bill followed close behind.

There were a few black eyeliner pencils out on the table. Tom grabbed them.

He opened the top drawer. There was a whole black pencil case full of black eyeliner and eye pencils. He grabbed that and stuffed it in his pocket.

He looked in each drawer, always finding at least one, always grabbing them and putting them in his baggy pockets.

He went to the double mirrored cupboards, found some on each shelf and each drawer. Checked the pockets of some of Bill's hanging jeans. Some in there, too. "God, Bill." He looked at Bill in amazement. "I never thought you'd bring a life supply everywhere."

"For emergencies." Bill replied smoothly.

Tom filled his pockets with eyeliner until there was no more room. "That should be all of them, then. I can't imagine you'd possibly have anymore."

Bill smiled. He pulled one out of his own pocket.

But Tom snatched that one off him.

Bill was still smiling. He pulled one out of his hair.

Tom gave him a _what-the-hell­­_ expression. "WHAT THE HELL?!" He yelled, and snatched that off him, too.

"Extra storage." Bill tapped his de-fluffed, soggy hairdo. It took him a while to realize that that was his last one. "Oh, damn!" He exhaled in frustration. He looked around for something to do, then gave one big whack on Tom's shoulder with Gustav's drumsticks.

_Crack._

There was a _huge_ crack right down the middle of the drumstick. They both stared at it in horror as it broke off and fell to the floor.

**x-x-x**

**HAHA (: R&R! I was going to make this a long chapter, but decided I wanted a bit of a cliffy in here. *wicked smile* And so I cut off the other half of the chapter to put in the next chapter. By the way, the next chapter might be really long. (Haven't finished it yet.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maybelline make-up. ;p**


	4. Fluffy Gifts and Fangirls

**I have this annoying little voice inside that's telling me that people are losing interest in this story, and you know…**

**THAT'S OKAY, COS SO AM I!!! LOL :p**

**But I'm going to continue writing this story because I have an interesting event that will take place in the story very soon. (:**

**I apologize that Bill and Tom seem really out of character in this chapter, just so you know. (:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tokio Hotel. Yah-huh.**

**x-x-x**

_**Quick Recap:**_

_He looked around for something to do, then gave one big whack on Tom's shoulder with Gustav's drumsticks._

_Crack._

_There was a huge crack right down the middle of the drumstick. They both stared at it in horror as it broke off and fell to the floor._

**x-x-x**

"Oh God, oh God, oh God." Bill waved his arms around frantically, looking for something. He rushed over to the dressing table and pulled out a roll of sticky tape. He wrapped tape all around it, messily and worriedly.

"Bill, that won't do anything!" Tom yelled at him, annoyed.

"It's your fault!" Bill complained. He ripped the sticky tape off the drumstick roughly, making more cracks and splinters. "God!" He rushed to Gustav's room. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Look, Gustav!" He exclaimed as he reached the door of Gustav's hotel room.

"Bill! What are you doing?! Don't tell him yet!" Tom shouted after him.

"Look at what Tom did to you drumsticks!" He shoved the drumsticks in front of Gustav's horror-stuck face. "He's evil! Look at what he did!"

Tom caught up to Bill and saw Gustav glaring right back at him. "WHAT?!"

"Those were my lucky drumsticks," Gustav growled between clenched teeth.

Tom put his hands up. "W-whaa…eh, i-i-it wh-wha uh…" He couldn't explain himself with Gustav's glare on him. "GOD!" He yelled. "God! Gustav, I have never seen you like this before!"

"Those drumsticks were a gift," He growled at Tom.

"I-I DIDN'T EVEN DO IT, FOR GOD'S SAKE!" Tom threw his hands up in the air. "IT WAS BILL!" He jabbed a finger at Bill's chest.

Bill crossed his arms and looked at Tom. "Don't go blaming it on me, Tom!"

"Yeah, Tom." Georg walked through. "What are you blaming on Bill? You bully," He teased.

"I DIDN'T BREAK YOUR DRUMSTICKS, GUSTAV, I SWEAR!"

"OUCH!" Georg shouted. "You broke his _drumsticks_?!"

"I SAID I DIDN'T BREAK HIS FREAKING DRUMSTICKS!" Tom bellowed.

Georg ignored that. "Breaking his drumsticks…" He mumbled, shaking his head. "That's deep, Tom. Deep."

Tom whacked the back of Georg's head. "I. DIDN'T. DO. IT." He pronounced each word through clenched teeth. "GOD."

Bill had a total look of innocence on his face. "Then why don't you explain to everyone how _you-_" He exaggerated the word 'you' for his convenience. "Got this crack in Gustav's lucky drumsticks?" He looked at Tom like he, himself, didn't do anything wrong.

Tom jabbed his index finger in Bill's chest. "_YOU_ HIT _ME_ ON THE SHOULDER WITH GUSTAV'S DRUMSTICKS, WHICH MEANS _THAT THAT CRACK_ IN GUSTAV'S DRUMSTICK _IS YOUR FAULT!" _Tom jabbed his finger at him so hard that Bill stumbled back a step.

There was a long pause. Everyone in the room was still. Then Bill sighed.

"Fine." He looked to the floor. "Why don't we just get this over with, and say that _I _did it?" Bill said as if he was being the saint to 'take the blame' for Tom. He plastered that _I-didn't-do-it-but-I'll-be-a-good-boy-and-say-that-I-did-it-for-the-sake-of-world-peace-around-here_ sort of look.

"I know what you're doing, Bill." Tom glared at him, not fooled by Bill's act. "I know what you're thinking,"

Bill looked up, pure innocence in his puppy dog eyes.

"You're thinking, _I didn't do it, but I'll be a good boy and say that I did it for the sake of world peace around here!_" He mimicked in a childish, high-pitched baby voice. He didn't realize that he was spot on.

Bill looked down as if he was going to cry. "And he _still_ blames it on me!"

"Shut up! I don't care!" Gustav shouted; something he didn't always do. "One of you did it, either way! And one of you is lying! But I'm angry at both of you! I don't care who did it anymore! My drumsticks are _broken_, either way!" He stormed out of the room. "Josef!" He called out to one of the crew members as he walked down the hall. "I need new drumsticks. Don't ask. They need to be ready for tonight's…" His voice faded down the hallway.

Bill sat on Gustav's bed. "I feel bad." His shoulders slumped.

"So you should!" Tom replied angrily, staying at the doorway. "You should apologize. I can't believe you blamed it on me."

Bill looked up and furrowed his eyebrow. "I don't feel bad for _you_, idiot!" He stood up sharply, head held high, and walked past Tom, hitting Tom's shoulder with his own, and walked towards Tom's room. Tom followed.

Georg sighed. "Whatever, guys. I'm not getting involved in this." He went over to the other direction down the hallway to help Gustav.

When Bill arrived in Tom's room, he looked behind him to find Tom narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"What are you doing in my room? What now?" Tom glared.

"I need more coffee." Bill said indifferently, emptying his mug of cold coffee and replacing it with steaming coffee. He sipped it and put his mug down. He heard his cell phone ring through the door of his own hotel room, and rushed over to get it.

Tom listened in the hallway, as Bill left his door wide open.

"Oh…hi," Bill said, pulling the phone away from his ear and cringing as there were loud screams coming out of the speaker.

Tom snorted. It was another one of those obsessive stalking fangirls.

Bill put the phone back to his ear. "H-how…did you get my number?" He asked, not really wanting to know the answer. He paused while they explained, _aah_ing and _ooh_ing at the right times. Then he said what he says to any fangirl who gets a hold of his number.

Tom was expecting this.

Bill held the phone away from his face, cleared his throat and put a deep, gruff voice on. "Is that another fangirl caller?!" He yelled, impersonating a deep, mean voice. "Ah, excuse me just a moment," He said into the receiver in his own voice. "The bodyguard is extra angry today. He doesn't like it when the fangirls call me on my cell…ah, he wants to speak to you…" Bill smiled, knowing what would happen next. "Oh, you have to go? Okay then, it was nice speaking to you…Bye." He hung up the phone. He knew it was mean to do that, but it just happened so often to everyone in the band, that one of their bodyguards told them to do that every time a fangirl rang.

Bill sighed and looked around the room for his coffee. "Coffee, coffee, coffeeeeeeeeeee…" He mumbled. He had left it in Tom's room.

Just as Tom realized Bill's coffee was left in his room, he slammed his door shut.

Bill looked in the direction of the slammed door. He gasped. "MY COFFEE!" He ran to Tom's room. "Tooooom~!" He turned the knob of Tom's door while he ran towards it, expecting it to open; only to find out it was locked. He slammed his head into Tom's closed door. He staggered back and held his forehead. "Ooooooow!" He yelled. "Tooom~!"

Bill heard Tom's hysterical laughter on the other side of the door.

"Tom! You're so mean! Open the door!" He banged his fist on the door. "I want my coffee back!" He slid onto his knees oh-so dramatically, banging on the door oh-so weakly, pretending to sob oh-so sadly. "Toooom…" He grunted like a zombie. Then he stopped and popped an idea in his head.

He did what every child thought was oh-so convincing. He used reverse-psychology.

"Okay, fine." Bill groaned and got to his feet. "I'm going away, then." He stomped on the floor, not going anywhere, making his footsteps softer and softer, until he stopped. Then he crept closer to Tom's door to see if he was convinced that Bill had left. He put his ear against the door, anticipating…

"Bill, I'm not stupid." Tom yelled from the other side of the door. "I know you're still there. Any five-year-old wouldn't be fooled by that make-your-footsteps-loud-and-then-make-them-softer-and-softer-as-if-you're-walking-away-even-though-you're-still-right-at-the-door trick. I'm not stupid." He said. "And I'm not opening the door." He added.

"TOOOOOOOM~!" Bill screamed in agony, at his oh-so original trick revealed. "Damn you! I just want my coffee!" He sobbed. "_And the rest of your coffee tins…"_ He added silently to himself.

"Just get it from Georg!"

"No!"

"Why?!"

"Because my lucky mug is in _your_ room!"

"Why do you need a _lucky mug?!_"

"Because it's _lucky!_"

"Are you stupid?"

"No!" Bill banged on the door. "Just give me my damn coffee and I'll leave you alone!"

There was no reply.

"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEEE!" Bill screamed to the heavens.

Bill silently sat against Tom's door for a few more minutes, just looking at the ceiling. He heard giggles at the end of the hallway, and then there appeared three girls, staring straight at him. He looked down at the pink, fluffy wrapped objects in each of their hands. One of the bodyguard crew members stood behind them.

Bill sighed. More obsessive fangirls coming to bring sparkly gifts.

They walked straight over to Bill, who stood up to greet them. The bodyguard stood a short distance away.

Each of them smiled and each handed him one of the fluffy gifts.

"Where's Tom?" One of them whispered in Bill's ear.

Bill turned to the door and knocked on Tom's door. "Tom," He called. "There are some fans here to meet you," He looked down at them and smiled. "They have some, uh…gifts…for you," He said, staring at the pink wrapping.

Tom was not in the mood for another one of his stupid pranks. Not in the mood. "Bill," He said. "I'm telling you, I'm really not as stupid as you to fall for that!" He yelled.

Bill frowned as he remembered the time when Tom said there were girls waiting outside his room, only to open the door and get splashed wet by Tom and his water balloon.

"No one wants to visit _your_ hotel room!" Tom yelled to him.

Bill looked at the girls. "They do too!" He replied, embarrassed.

"Tom," called one of the fangirls, knocking lightly. "We just want to give you a gift."

"_We just want to give you a gift!_" Tom mimicked. "Honestly, Bill. No girl has a voice as high-pitched and childish as that. You can do better!"

The girl looked absolutely crushed.

"Tom!" He banged hard on the door. "I'm not pretending!"

"Yeah, yeah," Tom sighed. "Next thing you know, you're going to tell me they have pink, fluffy gifts for me, just like all the others! I'm not fooled, Bill!"

Now all the girls looked crushed. All their heads turned down.

Bill threw his hands up in frustration. He looked at the girl with a sad smile. "He didn't mean that. He just thinks I'm trying to fool him. He's not really in the mood right n-"

"Stop talking to yourself, Bill!" Tom interrupted him.

"Do you want me to give him your gifts later?" He asked them sheepishly.

"Okay…" Two of the girls stared down at Bill's open hands and handed it to him.

The other girl kept looking down and didn't give him the gift. The girl that Tom mimicked. "Don't worry about mine. I don't think he likes me." She smiled sadly at Bill. "Just give these to Georg and Gustav."

"Okay," Bill said simply, not wanting to force her.

"It's time to go, girls." The bodyguard said. "They need to prepare for the concert."

The girls each hugged him and turned to leave. Bill stared after them. He saw the girl hesitantly put Tom's gift in the bin on her way to the lift.

"TOM!" He bellowed in absolute anger. "YOU STUPID IDIOT! THEY WERE REAL! THERE WERE THREE OF THEM! AND THEY JUST LEFT! LOOK, THEY LEFT GIFTS FOR YOU!"

Tom reluctantly opened the door with a dull look on his face, then he looked down at the gifts in Bill's hands. "OH, CRAP!" He covered his mouth in shock. "THEY MUST HAVE HEARD ME AND EVERYTHING! OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP!"

"The girl you mimicked threw your gift in the bin. Shame on you." Bill teased.

Then to Tom's surprise, Bill laughed hysterically at him, dropping the gifts to the floor.

Tom grunted and went back in his room to grab his wallet. "Whatever. I've got a headache," He said, as he stepped out of his room and locked his door. "I'm getting some aspirin for this."

"You don't need to go and buy it; I still have some left in my room if y-"

"I don't trust you." Tom interrupted. "You'll probably pee on it or something." He said, monotonously.

Bill put his palms forward. "Whatever you say…" He stared after Tom as he went around the corner, out of sight.

Tom could not contain his smile, knowing what he was _really_ going to buy.

Bill looked at Tom's locked door and a tortured look appeared on his face.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! MY COFFEEEEEEEE!" He bawled against the door. "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE???!!!"

**x-x-x**

**OOOFT! This is a reaaaaallyyyyyyyy long chapter! Sorry! Didn't mean for it to be! R&R is good for motivation!!! Yay for over 200 hits! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! AND I HOPE YOU CAN KEEP READING FOR THE EVENT THAT IS SOON TO BE WRITTEN! (In the next chapter, I'm sure. And if not, the one after that.) *HUGE GRIN!***


	5. Shirts and 'Medicine'

**Sorry for not updating for a while! Kinda just started school again… :/ Anyway, I warn you that I might be just as slow at updating since I have stuff to do now…  
Also, I have to apologize to Crazy German Girl! I've just read a chapter of one of her fanfics called, "Tokio Hotel Prank Wars" and realized that mine was similar to hers. I understand that her story was published before mine, and I had no intention of stealing her idea! I hadn't actually read it until right about now. So all I'm saying is that she had the original idea, not me, as far as I know! (: APOLOGIES!!!!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tokio Hotel or anything that I mention in this story that is already obviously owned. But I own the ownage of owning the sentence of which is somehow owned by the ownaged way of saying owned. Oh burn. HAHA OKAY WTF that didn't even make sense…?  
ON WITH THE STORY! D:**

**x-x-x**

_**Quick Recap:**_

_Tom could not contain his smile, knowing what he was really going to buy._

_Bill looked at Tom's locked door and a tortured look appeared on his face._

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! MY COFFEEEEEEEE!" He bawled against the door. "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE???!!!"_

**x-x-x**

Tom was at the pharmacy, browsing the aisles. He had his sunglasses on and a big, puffy jacket; his poor disguise. He looked shifty and nervous as he checked medicine labels and such.

The young lady at one of the counters looked over at him suspiciously, eyeing his puffy jacket for anything suspiciously box-shaped underneath. She slowly walked up to him. "How may I help you, sir?" She asked in a small voice.

Tom looked around nervously and leaned into her ear, ignoring the slight flinch she made. He whispered what he needed to the lady.

She looked him up and down uncertainly. "Are you having problems releasing it?"

"No!" Tom whispered in a not so quiet voice.

The woman stared for a moment, and then shook her head. "They're down at that aisle on the very last shelf," she pointed to the corner shelf of the store. "There are lots of different types and brands. But the flavored ones don't work very well. They're more expensive anyway."

She left Tom to his business as he picked at the packets on the shelf. He picked one without flavor with a high price to ensure it was effective. He went up to the lady on the counter and purchased it.

The lady paused for a moment, eyeing his jacket again. "I'm sorry, sir…I'll have to check your jacket…" Her cheeks went bright pink.

Tom was unhappy. "Just because I'm wearing a puffy jacket doesn't mean I'm shoplifting!" He held his arms protectively around the front of his body. He snatched his sunglasses off his face in anger to look at the lady in the eye. "It's because I have dreadlocks, isn't it?!" He glowered.

Her eyes widened and suddenly her voice was all high-pitched and quirky. She squealed. "OH MY GOD, TOM!" She fanned herself with her manicured fingers.

"Oh my God." Tom mumbled to himself.

"TOM, IT IS THE RULES OF THE STORE THAT YOU HAVE TO SIGN THIS RECEIPT, OR I CAN'T LET YOU GO!" She held the receipt in his face. "NEVER EVER LET YOU GO! NEVER!" She laughed like a maniac.

Tom turned on his heel and made a run for it.

"OR I'LL TELL EVERYONE ABOUT WHAT YOU'D JUST BOUGHT!" She laughed hysterically again.

_Meanwhile, back at the hotel…_

Bill paced up and down the hallway, planning Tom's next humiliation.

Georg appeared up the hallway with a sulky Gustav slumping behind. He stopped and looked at Bill. "God, you're still here? We have to get to the stage in a few hours, you know,"

Bill ignored him. "Do you know how I can get into Tom's room?"

Georg shrugged. "You could get the guy with all the keys to open it up; I think…if you have a good reason to open it,"

Bill rubbed his hands together. "Oh, but I do…" He smiled.

Georg furrowed his eyebrow. "Okay…?"

Gustav spoke up. "Aren't these just the ugliest drumsticks in the world?" He looked down sadly at the new ones the crew members gave him.

"They look the same as your old ones," Bill waved the subject off with his hand.

"I will bash your head in with these, I swear!" Gustav held up the drumsticks in warning.

Bill snorted. "Yeah, and it'll be all over the news…"

Georg gestured along an imaginary news headline. "Drummer Boy Wipes out Simba's Best Friend," He snorted.

No one laughed.

"Tom's non-existent sense of humor is rubbing off on me."

"You know, there's this girl on the second floor selling Tokio Hotel merchandise…mostly shirts," Gustav sighed. "Mostly stuff about _you_," He snickered disapprovingly.

"GOD OH GOD OH GOD!!!" They heard Tom yell at the top of his lungs from down the hallway. Tom stopped running as soon as he saw them all standing by his door. He cleared his throat and walked casually, even though he was desperately panting for air. "I'm going to…take…a shower," he panted, walking into his room.

Tom didn't even seem to notice the little pink sparkle of a gift jammed in his door that wasn't completely shut. Being unaware, he smiled and headed over to the bathroom with Bill's coffee mug in hand.

Georg and Gustav wandered off to their own rooms while Bill waited outside of Tom's door. He waited until he heard the shower running. When he was sure that Tom was in the middle of his shower, Bill crept into Tom's room and grabbed his entire suitcase of shirts, giggling and snorting while he dragged the suitcase to his own room, locking the door behind him.

He looked around expectantly, looking for something to do with the shirts. Then, an idea popped into his head. He grabbed all sorts of clothing, covering his entire body, and ran to the elevator, pressing 'level two'."

When he arrived on level two, he spotted the little stall of Tokio Hotel merchandise that Gustav had mentioned before. He walked to the stall, reading the phrases on the shirts. Gustav was right; it was mostly about Bill.

_Bill is sexy,_ one of them said. _Bill is my husband; he just doesn't know it!_, another one said. Bill furrowed his eyebrow at that one. _FREE HUGS! Bill, I'm waiting…_

Bill took out his wallet and bought all of the shirts that said 'Bill is sexy', and a few of the other ones. He bought enough to fill a suitcase. All the shirts were sizes that only Bill would wear.

"Going to their concert tonight?" The teenage girl at the stall asked.

Bill stuttered. "Y-yeah…I'm going to the concert…" He cleared his throat.

"I made all these shirts," she said proudly. "This one," she held up the one that said 'Bill is my husband; he just doesn't know it!' "Is my personal favorite. Because he _is_ my husband!"

Bill cleared his throat again.

"I even bought a ring! Look!" She held her hand out for him to see. On her ring finger was a stubby ring with the Tokio Hotel logo on the front. "I got one for him, too. I'm going to give it to him at the concert tonight. I don't have V.I.P access, though…"

"So, uh…how will you give him the ring?"

"I'll have to throw it at him while he's on stage." She stated in a matter-of-fact sort of tone. "Along with a few glowsticks, too…Wouldn't it be so amazing to have touched the same glowstick as Bill?" She said in a dreamy voice.

"I'm going to go now…" Bill said quickly.

The girl gasped and grabbed his arm. "My God! You've got your nails done like his! How did you do it? Every time I try to do it, it looks ugly!"

"I-I got it done professionally…" He trailed off. The girl wasn't even listening. She was trying to stare through his sunglasses.

"Why are you wearing sunglasses indoors? My, my! You look so similar to Bill; it's amazing…Even with all that stuff on…"

Bill laughed nervously. "Y-yeah, people say that a lot. I really have to go now." He spoke quickly, walking away.

"Wear those shirts at the concert!" She called after him. "I want Bill to see my work of art!"

When Bill reached his room, he emptied Tom's suitcase and stuffed in all the shirts he'd bought. He sealed it shut and smirked to himself.

He dragged the suitcase back to Tom's room and ran away.

In Tom's bathroom, Tom was sitting on the closed toilet seat, with Bill's coffee sitting on the sink, with a packet of laxatives. He had the shower running to fool Bill.

The instructions on the box told Tom to put small amounts of the laxatives at a time, so as not to overdo it. He ignored that, and poured half the packet into Bill's warm coffee, and stirred it around. He felt so awesomely evil that he got eager and stirred it faster. Cause that's so evil. Some of the coffee fell over the brim and spilt onto his shirt. He shrieked a little, out of his evil-mode, and took his shirt off to fill with water in the sink.

He turned the shower off and left the bathroom, placing Bill's coffee mug back in its place.

"I win." He said aloud, as he walked over to his suitcase to get a fresh shirt.

**x-x-x**

**Apologies, guys! I have major writer's block at the moment, and I actually ran out of coffee! (Which was my motivation in writing this story, haha!) I didn't have enough of an overload of caffeine to make this as funny as the first chapter! AGGGGHHHHH!**

**But I must say…THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR GETTING THIS STORY OVER 350 HITS!!!!!!! *Cheek-hurting-grin* Fave it! Alert it! Review it! Love it! YAY! (:**


	6. Mr President

**Sorry for not updating for forever! LITERALLY! This story is ancient now, and I'm planning to finish this story in this chapter, or the next, so that I can finally move on. (:**

_**Quick Recap:**_

_Tom turned the shower off and left the bathroom, placing Bill's coffee mug back in place._

"_I win." He said aloud, as he walked over to his suitcase to get a fresh shirt._

**x-x-x**

Tom kept his smile on his face as he opened his suitcase. A pile of black t-shirts welcomed him, saying, "Bill is sexy!"

The smile disappeared. He lifted one of the shirts with two fingers, as though it had cooties. "Holy crap! What the hell is this filth?!"

He picked up his entire suitcase and emptied it on the floor. Without finding any shirt that was remotely the size that he would wear, he slammed his fist on the ground. "Aw, crap! My knuckles! ARRRRRGGGHHHHH!" He tried to shake off the pain. "BILL, YOU FAG!"

And right on cue, Bill pushed the door open with one finger, grinning his signature grin. He leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed and waited.

"GIVE ME MY SHIRTS BACK, YOU UGLY LITTLE ROTTEN PORCUPINE!"

Bill ignored that and walked into the room. He looked at the pile of shirts on the ground. "My, oh my," He said in false surprise. "I see your secret obsession revealed," He lifted up a shirt that said, _President of Bill Kaulitz's No.1 Fan club!_ "You might just be my number one fangirl, Tom. Well done!" He applauded.

Tom gritted his teeth.

Bill reached into the back pocket of his jeans. "Oh, what's this I have here?" He gasped mockingly. "Looks like it's that camera you had this morning! Oh! And there's that photo you had of me this morning…and look! There's a delete button…" He pressed it. "Aw, isn't that nice? Bye-bye, mugshot~!" He sang.

"I wonder what this button does…" He pointed the camera straight at Tom on the ground with fangirl t-shirts and snapped a shot. "Kodak moment~!"

"Give. Me. My. Damn. Shirts." Tom demanded. "Now."

"Never!" Bill laughed. He set his hands on his hips, broadened his shoulders and beamed triumphantly. "I'm legendary~!" He flexed his 'muscles' like Hercules. "I have defeated the evil guy with the snake hair!" He skipped about. "Hissssssss!" He made hissing noises at Tom. "Hisssssss!" He made claws in the air.

Josef, a crew member popped his head through the door and looked at Bill. Then he looked down at the shirts in front of Tom. "What in the…"

Tom and Bill turned to him and stared.

"Uh…" Josef tried his best to shake the image off his mind. "We're gone in less than half an hour, so you should be ready soon."

Bill dropped his snake position. "Okay. Get out now." He said. "Please." He added.

Josef obeyed and popped his head back out.

After a short silence, he boomed with laughter. "Oh God, I should've brought my camera." He said aloud to himself.

Bill turned back to Tom. "So I'll leave you now to do your Bill worshipping ritual, Mr. President of Bill Kaulitz's No.1 fanclub." He grinned. "And I'll take my _beautiful_ lucky mug with that _beautiful_ coffee inside of it." He swallowed a nice big sip of coffee and walked out of the room.

Tom grinned.

"Now for the laxatives to kick in…" He mumbled to himself.

**x-x-x**

**This chapter is most definitely the UNFUNNIEST (if that's a word) in the whole entire world because I suspect the next chapter to go on for miles..**

**I really am sorry for not updating in literally forever! T_T *Begs on knees***

**It's the end of the first term of school for me and I have a two week holiday, so hopefully I'll have a bit more done. And hopefully have this story finished.**

**You can scold me if you want. *Braces self***


	7. Pranks, pranks, more pranks

**Omg, I was surprised to find 4 new reviews the next day after posting chapter six, which really pleased me! Just let me have one short complaint, though. Another kiddo reported me for Real Person Fiction something something. :'( Urgh. Have some fun in life, pls.**

***Oh burn* JUST KIDDINGS !**

**And yay to almost 800 hits!!!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tokio Hotel. 'Nuff said. :'(**

**(There is also another disclaimer which will be at the bottom of the page because if I write it up here, it will kind of ruin the chapter.) :D :D**

**x-x-x**

Gustav grumpily tapped his new drumsticks against the counter in Georg's room and sighed. He walked across the room and draped himself across Georg's bed.

"Hey." Georg said to him from the couch. "Off the bed. I don't want your scent on my bed while I sleep."

"Why?" His reply was muffled by the blanket he had buried his face in. "You're afraid you'll have a wet dream about me tonight?"

Georg gawked at him. "God…no." He flicked through the channels on the television. "If anything, it's a nightmare."

Gustav didn't answer.

"Get off my bed!" He threw a pillow at Gustav's head, who made no reaction. "I'll sleep on this couch if I have to."

"Oh my God. Cooties. Oh dear Lord, please help me." Gustav moaned sarcastically.

"Ha, ha. Very funny."

"I don't feel like playing tonight." Gustav whined. "How long do we have left until the concert?"

Georg glanced at the clock. "About fifteen minutes."

Gustav groaned. "Gurghhgurhghrugghrrrrrghuuugh! I don't wanna go!" He complained.

"Oh, boo hoo, little girl. Just get revenge from them or something." He referred to Tom and Bill.

Gustav shot his head up from the blanket. He sat up excitedly. "Yes, yes…let's get back at them for what they did to us…" He rubbed his hands together eagerly.

"For what they did to _you_," he corrected. "I never said I was getting involved in this salami,"

"Baloney." Gustav corrected.

"Baloney, salami, bacon, whatever." He waved it off. "All I'm saying is that _I'm_ not getting involved."

"Unless you want me to pull a prank on all three of you…" Gustav tried to persuade him. "Come on! It'll be fun. You know how many times Tom teases you about your obsession with David Hasselhoff."

Georg looked away. "I don't have an obsession with David Hasselhoff…" He mumbled.

"They both caught you talking to a picture of him in your room before, remember?"

"That was one time!" His cheeks tinged red. "I was just telling him he can dance real good…" He added silently.

Gustav waited.

Georg hesitated. "Oh, fine! I'll do it!" He surrendered. "Just don't bring that up again." He frowned.

Gustav grinned. "Good. I need your brains in this."

"So what do we do?"

"I was thinking it was best to be done on stage…" Gustav pondered.

Georg gasped. "That's mean!"

"Exactly."

Georg shook his head in amazement. "I'm the only witness to see the other side of Gustav…You're worse than me."

Gustav snorted. "No one is as foul as you. Now go fetch some brains."

Georg stared in amazement again.

"Oh, honestly, Georg! This is the one time I actually have a reason to – "

Josef popped his head through the door. "We have to get going now. Have you seen Tom and Bill? They're nowhere to be seen."

"I saw Tom about twenty minutes ago. He went past my door with his wallet, grumbling about new shirts or something. I assume he's gone out and hasn't come back yet." Georg replied.

Josef quietly cursed to himself. "What about Bill?"

_Meanwhile, in Bill's bathroom…_

"OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!" Bill sobbed. "THIS IS HORRENDOUS!" He yelled to the heavens as he sat on the toilet seat with his pants down.

"WHAT IS THIS INJUSTICE?!" He screamed. "I'M SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE BUS BY NOW!!!"

All indescribable 'noises' sounded from his rear end. Bill groaned in discomfort.

_And over where Tom was…_

"Er, hey you," He called to a man wearing the shop's ID card. "Do you have this shirt in a bigger size?"

"Certainly, sir. In which size would you like me to get?" The man inquired.

"Extra extra extra extra extra extra large, please." He replied.

The man seemed to wait for Tom so say, 'Aha! I'm just kidding man. Get me my real size; extra extra small.' But Tom just waited.

"Ah, sir, are you being serious?" The man asked in disbelief.

"I'm in a bit of a rush, so could you please be quick?" Tom looked at his watch and then eyed the door.

"Sir, if you want an extra large times five, you'll have to go to the _Super (large) Man_ store across the street."

"But…" Tom groaned. "What's the largest size you have of this?" He held up the shirt again.

"Large." The man replied.

Tom stared in disbelief. "What is this? A clothing store for twigs?!"

The man looked around nervously. "Sir, you're making a scene…" He whispered. "People are staring."

"JUST GET ME A DAMN LARGE THEN!" Tom bellowed.

"Right away, sir," The man scurried off.

"Now I'm gonna be at the concert looking like Bill…" He complained to himself.

The man came back after a short while and brought the shirt to the counter.

Tom purchased his shirt and rushed back to the hotel.

**x-x-x**

**Disclaimer: Thanks in extra extra extra extra extra extra large part to tallonfoot357 (or TokioHotelObsessionX100, or whichever name you'd prefer to be called) for suggesting the idea of Georg and Gustav pulling a prank of their own for Tom and Bill … ONSTAGE! :D**

**I do not own the idea, but it is still genius. :)**

**Also, WOOHOO for 2 chapters in 2 days. :D :D**

**I know it's not normal for me to update a day later. Don't faint. ;P**

**Thanks for the reviews, and keep them coming!!!**


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